It's not just fresh...

It's Jesus fresh.

Best thing I have heard all day....

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy"

So very tired...

Falling asleep at work! I can't wait to go sleep in the park during lunch!!!

Your underwear should say something about you...

I'm not even sure this is funny

Step away from the house plants....

I found this photo but not the whole clip. And would I really want to see the whole thing?

I'll take two...

What is the Difference Between a Two Stroke and Four Stroke Engine?

Wow, that is such a loaded question. If you want the real answer and not the perverted one that is gaining momentum in my head, check out http://www.wisegeek.com/.
It is like Ask Jeeves or Wikipedia, only the same.

I am gonna hazard a guess here...

that once the groom saw this dress, she was left at the altar...

Like a fish out of water...

hehe

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina

Candy Little Girl?

Then somehow Jesus got involved...

Then it turned into me craving...

Pop-tarts and quality time with my friend Hello Kitty...

At first this started off about...

How cute these cats are. How can you not love wild berry flavored cat and a kitty that will pop a cap in your ass?

The Curse of Lucky Bamboo

Just an F.Y.I.

To refer to a post I made yesterday, turns out the consequences of killing a lucky bamboo plant are swift and severe.

I wish I had this as a kid so my brother could pull the legs and arms off of it...

To be fair, I don't know much about her and have nothing against her personally....but that never stopped my brother from pulling off the limbs of my bionic woman doll. The Sarah Palin Action Figure courtesy of Herobuilders.com. The US vice presidential hopeful's fashion sense is winning applause in an unexpected quarter -- in Japan, where the maker of her rimless glasses is enjoying a sudden boost in business

help...again

This image and I never needed to cross paths. How could a grown man think this is ok to wear???

help

What happens if you kill your lucky bamboo plant?
Is it like breaking a mirror or walking under a ladder or worse cos it is dead?

I agree George is yummy...

But this isn't quite what I had in mind... George Clooney covered in cotton candy and buttered popcorn -- a food artiste turned this dreamy scenario into reality with a portrait of the Oscar-nominated actor made out of flavored Jelly Belly jelly beans. (The Cotton Candy flavor featured in his cheeks; the Buttered Popcorn in his hair.) The portrait will be auctioned off with the proceeds donated to a charity of Clooney's choice.

Spank O' Rama

I got this from the following blog which is about a guy's obsession with spanking.....

http://timspankstheworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/10-signs-that-girl-may-be-into-spanking.html TOP 10 SIGNS A GIRL MAY BE INTO SPANKING

1. Every other phrase out of her mouth is "So? What you going to do about it?"

2. She has a lot of wooden spoons, but she never cooks.

3. She has a lot of paddles, but she says she's allergic to canoes.

4. She says "Hi! My name is Samantha Woodley."

5. She takes a running jump, flops across your lap, and says "Don't worry, I'm just practicing a new yoga position.

6. You pull out her chair for her at the restaurant, and she says "Don't bother--to be honest, I'm going to have to eat standing up."

7. She says, "Some people think I need self-discipline. They're only half right."

8. Her gifts entire consist of new belts. And they're all too big for you.

9. She keeps backing up her butt into your palm and saying "Ouch." And then doing it again.

10. She tries to convince you that every day is her birthday.

I think a road trip is in order....

A one-of-a-kind collectionIt’s not hard to get the bottom of the story at Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum in San Antonio, Texas: Smith has created more than 700 folk-art collages on the lids of commodes. Throne covers hang from every surface of his garage, presenting assemblages of everything from keys that have lost their purpose to a million dollars’ worth of shredded legal tender, straight from the Federal Reserve Bank. Other seats collect horseshoes, eyeglasses (with a few hearing aids thrown in) and bullets. A recent addition pays tribute to Pope John Paul II.When you want to visit, call Smith at (210) 824-7791 to arrange a time. He’ll show you his one-of-a-kind collection at no charge

Will you be the Clyde to my Bonnie??

The PUMA Clyde is an iconic shoe. Now, for the first time it is being released with a new sidekick - the Bonnie. The pack draws inspiration from the famed crime duo and Walt ‘Clyde’ Frazier’s famous saying, “I Steal For A Living,” which was featured in a PUMA ad in the 70’s.? This tongue - in - cheek shoe features lux leather and fedora hats on the tongue. The shoes come in an old fashioned canvas money bag for those quick escapes. Only 216 pairs of this limited shoe will be available