And there ain't nothing like regret to remind you you're alive

I spent a year in the mouth of a whale
With a flame and a book of signs
You'll never know how hard I've failed
Trying to make up for lost time

Once I believed in things unseen
I was blinded by the dark
Out of the multitude
He came and broke my heart

When the dust in the field has flown
And the youngest of hearts has grown
And you doubt you will ever be free
Don't bail on me

River is wide and oh so deep
And it winds and winds around
I dream we're happy in my sleep
Floating down and down and down

And the tide rushes by where we stand
And the earth underneath turns to sand
And we're waiting for someone to see
Honey, Don't bail on me.

Tell ma I loved the man
Even though I turned and ran
Lovely and fine I could have been
Laying down in the palm of his hand
Staying down in the palm of his hand

In the morning you wait for the sun
And secretly hope it won't come
But time washes everyone clean
Don't bail on me

A couple of more photos

Cleaning up the past

Besides vacuuming myself today, I managed to start cleaning out 5 years worth of emails from my Yahoo account. So far I erased over 600 and still have more to go. I am mostly just keeping the porn. I did find some photos I had taken a few years ago.

If I had known what today's date was....

I would not have bothered to get out of bed.

i should be asleep

Someday, when I have a new digital camera, I would like to post more of my own photos here. These are from a few years back. The 1st picture was taken in downtown Bridgeport, CT. Bridgeport is a sad sad city really. Due to corruption and neglect, it has fallen apart. There is beauty to be found in the forgotten but something so sad about how people let it happen. I usually don't give my photos titles but I call this one "Gateway to Hell". The next 2 photos were taken in Albany, NY at the now gone but deeply missed "Palais Royale". When I say I loved this fucking bar, I do not exaggerate. It was a run down, dirty dive and the best place I ever had the honor of having a drink. It had been around for over 80 years in various locations. It was owned by a man named Rocky whose dad had handed it down to him. Rocky would tell you stories about shining the shoes of Legs Diamond when he was a kid. He was a little bitty Italian man and even in his 90's still flirting with the ladies. The bar was filled with irreplaceable bottles, knick knacks and memories. You could find yourself sitting next to a regular that had been there since 8am or a senator stopping by after work (the capitol building is down the street). The last time they had a raise in prices, the beers went up to $2.50.
They had a shuffle board bowling machine and we had a league that played on Sunday nights.
Rocky fell down on one of those Sunday nights and broke his leg. He never really recovered and died the next year at the age of 93. The bar ended up closing. Jeannie ( the long time bartender) tried to buy the bar with no luck. Rocky had left it to his nephew and the son of a bitch (not apologizing for that) sold it to some guy who turned it in to a family place. I never set foot in it again after it had changed hands. Just wasn't going to be the same.
I could go on forever about the place and probably will when I post more pics.

it's been a few years....

but fuck the people who did this to my Honda...I still miss her.

bloody zombies!!!!

If you know whats good for ya, check out this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOmNzVGJBlg

ich sehe den schmerz in deinem gesicht

Both of these are things I wrote a while back but still apply.

1)i'm having major sleep problems.
it can be chalked up to lots of reason, all that need time to be worked on...
but its really starting to take its toll
i go to sleep for an hour and half, wake up for one, back to sleep for 2
everynight is a varation on this....and i am taking ambien!
my back is killing me from the tossing and turning.
i need a massage. i need to clear my mind.
omg, someone is fixing steak on TV. i want one.

2)Well, I’ve been talking to someone lately about the fact that i can’t sleep. I’ve had sleep problems most of my life. I can’t fall asleep is usually the biggest problem...but also that i can’t stay asleep, i fall asleep for 2 hours and stay up for six and sleep for 2 more, every sound wakes me up, i am light and temperature sensitive,i can’t get comfortable, i toss and turn, etc..so many variations on this. This is not to say I don’t sleep, i do, in fact there are times when i can not wake up.
The point being that my sleep is fucked up and that i now can not sleep without the aid of sleeping pills.
Even this stupid blog is not putting me to sleep...