Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The world is a strange place
Wife's nude pics on lost phone end up online
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. - Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it.
Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager.
The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home.
The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.
Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages.
Man recovering after being shot by his dog
PORTLAND, Ore. - A man who was accidentally shot by a 12-gauge shotgun on Saturday after his dog jumped into a boat is recovering. Matthew Marcum's legs and buttocks were injured in the bizarre incident and he was taken to Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center in Portland.
Marcum's father, Henry, said his 23-year-old son was about to tie up an 11-foot open aluminum boat, when his 3-year-old Labrador, Drake, jumped into the boat.
Matthew Marcum said his dog, Drake, is a good dog and he isn't upset with him.
Priest gets probation for jogging nude at track
GREELEY, Colo. - A Catholic priest convicted of indecent exposure for jogging naked around a track at a high school has been sentenced to five years probation.
Rev. Robert Whipkey must also complete 100 hours of community service and register as a sex offender under the sentence handed down Thursday in Weld County District Court.
The Denver archdiocese said Whipkey, of Frederick, was placed on leave last year. He officiated at parishes in Frederick, Mead and Erie. He was arrested about an hour before sunrise on June 22, 2007.
Dressed in a blue shirt and slacks, Whipkey told Judge Timothy Kerns that the conviction has ruined his life and that he is unemployed.
Student arrested for 'passing gas' at Fla. school
STUART, Fla. - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers.
According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.
The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School student was arrested Nov. 4.
A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. - Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it.
Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager.
The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home.
The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned.
Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages.
Man recovering after being shot by his dog
PORTLAND, Ore. - A man who was accidentally shot by a 12-gauge shotgun on Saturday after his dog jumped into a boat is recovering. Matthew Marcum's legs and buttocks were injured in the bizarre incident and he was taken to Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center in Portland.
Marcum's father, Henry, said his 23-year-old son was about to tie up an 11-foot open aluminum boat, when his 3-year-old Labrador, Drake, jumped into the boat.
Matthew Marcum said his dog, Drake, is a good dog and he isn't upset with him.
Priest gets probation for jogging nude at track
GREELEY, Colo. - A Catholic priest convicted of indecent exposure for jogging naked around a track at a high school has been sentenced to five years probation.
Rev. Robert Whipkey must also complete 100 hours of community service and register as a sex offender under the sentence handed down Thursday in Weld County District Court.
The Denver archdiocese said Whipkey, of Frederick, was placed on leave last year. He officiated at parishes in Frederick, Mead and Erie. He was arrested about an hour before sunrise on June 22, 2007.
Dressed in a blue shirt and slacks, Whipkey told Judge Timothy Kerns that the conviction has ruined his life and that he is unemployed.
Student arrested for 'passing gas' at Fla. school
STUART, Fla. - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers.
According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.
The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School student was arrested Nov. 4.
A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother
You scare me
I know these are an easy target, but WTF? WTF? WTF? Have the operation to become a man already!!!!
What's been going on this week?
I like looking at the "Week in Photos" section on Yahoo and other sites but by the looks of it, maybe it wasn't such a good week.
Passed with flying colors....
I have no fear of flying but you will never ever get me to go to an airshow. Ever.
I wonder if Southwest flies there....
Joints containing different types of cannabis are seen in their jars at a coffee shop in the southern Dutch city of Bergen
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Brother can you spare a ...penny?
ATTLEBORO, Mass. – A 74-year-old blind woman's 1 cent debt to a Massachusetts city has been settled.
People from across the country called Attleboro City Hall on Tuesday offering to pay the 1 cent balance owed by Eileen Wilbur for an overdue water and sewer bill.
Antonio Viveiros, a former city councilor who does not know Wilbur, wrote a check for one penny. He says he was "irked" by the fact that the federal government can spend billions for bailouts, yet a senior citizen was threatened with a lien on her home over 1 cent.
Wilbur's daughter first noticed the letter that warned of a lien and a $48 penalty if the overdue bill was not paid by Dec. 10.
Mayor Kevin Dumas says the whole situation was blown out of proportion.
People from across the country called Attleboro City Hall on Tuesday offering to pay the 1 cent balance owed by Eileen Wilbur for an overdue water and sewer bill.
Antonio Viveiros, a former city councilor who does not know Wilbur, wrote a check for one penny. He says he was "irked" by the fact that the federal government can spend billions for bailouts, yet a senior citizen was threatened with a lien on her home over 1 cent.
Wilbur's daughter first noticed the letter that warned of a lien and a $48 penalty if the overdue bill was not paid by Dec. 10.
Mayor Kevin Dumas says the whole situation was blown out of proportion.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Thank God for Change
Sex Tips for Husbands and Wives was penned by Ruth Smythers, a vicar's wife, in 1894. Some amazing gems:
The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
A wise wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.
Once in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement.
When he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only in total darkness.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.
The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly — and as time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of his wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: Give little, give seldom and above all give grudgingly. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
A wise wife will make it her goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her.
Once in bed, the wife should turn off all the lights and make no sound to guide her husband in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement.
When he finds her, she should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practised only in total darkness.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering prove very effective if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child-bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I know it's lame but I am bored and too lazy to find something funny. Sue me.
1) Can you cook?
No. But I can order take-out like nobody's business.
2) What was your dream growing up?
It changed all the time. I wanted to be an archeologist, a lawyer, a detective, a writer. Too many to choose from so I did nothing....
3) What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could sing. Or tie a cherry stem with my teeth.
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Why thank you, I will have an Amaretto Sour.
5) Favorite vegetable?
Sex. I mean tomatoes.
6) What was the last book you read?
Intensity by Dean Koontz
7) What zodiac sign are you ?
Virgo the Virgin. Go figure.
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
7 tattoos but 8 really cos one is a cover-up. Only ears are pierced.
9) Worst Habit?
I worry too much
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
seeing how I stole this off someone's bulletin on MySpace, I don't know who the hell you are, so take the bus...
11) What is your favorite sport?
really not a sports fan but Hockey is ok.
12) Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Somewhere between Little Miss Sunshine and Emo
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I have an elevator fantasy but it doesn't involve you, Mr. I Made Up This Worthless Survey
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I survived it...that is all that matters
15) Tell me one weird fact about you?
I am the reason the Beatles broke up.
16) Do you have any pets?
I will have a cat soon.
17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
You would be shot on site.
18) What was your first impression of me?
That you ask too many questions.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
die motherfuckers, die
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
I would not turn red so easily.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
I would say I am half and half.
22) What color eyes do you have?
blue-grey
23) Ever been arrested?
No. Just never been caught.
24 ) Bottle or Draft?
They have Black Label on draft now?? Rockin!
25) If you won £10,000 pounds today, what would you do with it?
How strange that you would ask in pounds and not dollars. I would be good and pay bills and I would be bad and go to Vegas.
26) Would you date me?
No. I have shot you and taken your 10,000 pounds. I don't need to date you.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
In bed, next to someone...
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
I do...i have even heard one.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
sleep, watch movies
30) Do you swear a lot?
hell yes
31) Biggest pet peeve?
being late
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
complex
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Sometimes.
34) Do you believe in God?
I am not religious, but trying to be more spiritual.
No. But I can order take-out like nobody's business.
2) What was your dream growing up?
It changed all the time. I wanted to be an archeologist, a lawyer, a detective, a writer. Too many to choose from so I did nothing....
3) What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could sing. Or tie a cherry stem with my teeth.
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Why thank you, I will have an Amaretto Sour.
5) Favorite vegetable?
Sex. I mean tomatoes.
6) What was the last book you read?
Intensity by Dean Koontz
7) What zodiac sign are you ?
Virgo the Virgin. Go figure.
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
7 tattoos but 8 really cos one is a cover-up. Only ears are pierced.
9) Worst Habit?
I worry too much
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
seeing how I stole this off someone's bulletin on MySpace, I don't know who the hell you are, so take the bus...
11) What is your favorite sport?
really not a sports fan but Hockey is ok.
12) Negative or Optimistic attitude?
Somewhere between Little Miss Sunshine and Emo
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
I have an elevator fantasy but it doesn't involve you, Mr. I Made Up This Worthless Survey
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
I survived it...that is all that matters
15) Tell me one weird fact about you?
I am the reason the Beatles broke up.
16) Do you have any pets?
I will have a cat soon.
17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
You would be shot on site.
18) What was your first impression of me?
That you ask too many questions.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
die motherfuckers, die
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be???
I would not turn red so easily.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
I would say I am half and half.
22) What color eyes do you have?
blue-grey
23) Ever been arrested?
No. Just never been caught.
24 ) Bottle or Draft?
They have Black Label on draft now?? Rockin!
25) If you won £10,000 pounds today, what would you do with it?
How strange that you would ask in pounds and not dollars. I would be good and pay bills and I would be bad and go to Vegas.
26) Would you date me?
No. I have shot you and taken your 10,000 pounds. I don't need to date you.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
In bed, next to someone...
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
I do...i have even heard one.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
sleep, watch movies
30) Do you swear a lot?
hell yes
31) Biggest pet peeve?
being late
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
complex
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Sometimes.
34) Do you believe in God?
I am not religious, but trying to be more spiritual.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Educational Reading
How to Kill a Zombie Onslaught
Instructions:
Get as far away from the zombies as you can (if possible), lest your fear make you go nutz.
Step2Using your gun or crossbow (preferrably the former), you need to score a headshot on the first shot for every zombie. The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain, and wild shooting elsewhere will just attract more zombies.
Step3If you are forced into melee combat, either cut their heads off with a blade (machete or Shaolin blade) or get into their heads somehow and destroy the brain from the inside (such as with a crowbar).
Step4When you're sure all the zombies have been killed, burn the bodies to wipe out any chance of infection and to be sure they're really destroyed.
Things You’ll Need:
Shaolin blade
machete
rifle
Molotov cocktails
crossbow
The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
Tips & Warnings
Make sure you actually know how to use your weapons. All of them.
If one of the zombies is your stupid buddy or brother or something like that, don't hesitate. Just shoot! That person's already dead. History. It's just a corpse that happens to be trying to kill you.
Yea, I know. Where are you gonna get a Shaolin blade? Good question. The machete should suffice. X)
DON'T get a flamethrower or a chainsaw. Both are useless.
Don't assume you can score mass kills on your own, if there are more than 10 or 20 zombies out there. It's probably a good idea to make sure there are other people near you who are skilled in the art of zombie killing.
If you decapitate any zombies, make sure to destroy the heads. A severed head can still bite you and should still be considered dangerous.
Don't ever aim for body parts other than the head! They will just keep attacking until their brains are destroyed, even if the only thing left is the head.
http://www.ehow.com/how_4561975_kill-zombie-onslaught.html
Friday, November 7, 2008
Costumes
Don't they know that the meat from his head is just going to end up in the burgers?
I proclaim this the worst Joker costume EVER!!
For my Comic Book friends
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=92159514&blogID=446546753
It's Friday!
The video is pretty lame but I love this song. Plus, I am psyched I finally learned how to post a video. Sorry, I am a bit slow sometimes.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
You scream, I scream, The Joker screams for Ice Cream!
The Joker has his own ice cream truck! Selling home made flavors like Psychotic Pistachio and Diabolical Heath Bar Crunch! Umm, does he have a gun in one hand and a popcicle in the other?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Fun with Birth Control!
(Mental Floss) -- Most people know that condoms prevent the spread of HIV and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Unusual campaigns to promote condom use are being launched in places where condoms are less popular.
But in many parts of the world, condoms aren't very popular.
Here are five novel campaigns launched by nonprofit organizations and condom companies to encourage wider use.
1. A ring tone to remember
In India, people stigmatize condoms and refuse to wear them because they believe only prostitutes must use prophylactics. Leave it one of the world's richest men to find a solution -- the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation donated money for a national condom ring tone.
An a cappella group sings "Condom, Condom" -- in the style of doo-wop like the contagious pop song "Barbara Ann" -- when one receives a phone call.
Despite its bubblegum sound, officials hope that the people who have the condom ring tone appear smart and responsible.
Since the ring tone's August launch, more than 60,000 people downloaded it. Yvonne MacPherson, country director of the BBC World Service Trust (which the Gates foundation funded), sums it up best when she said to the Associated Press: "A ring tone is a very public thing. It's a way to show you are a condom user and you don't have any issues with it."
Right, nothing attracts the amorous attention like announcing loudly that you have a condom.
2. Perks you right up
Ethiopians claim they hate condoms because the smell of latex sickens them. To combat the odor, DKT International, a United Sates nonprofit, created coffee condoms.
These dark brown condoms allegedly (I'm not testing the products) taste and smell like the favorite coffee of Ethiopia -- the macchiato, an espresso with cream and sugar.
One college student claimed the smell reminded him of the beauty of Ethiopian women (it's not clear if that's a compliment). These condoms bolster national identity because
Ethiopians claim to have invented coffee. DKT International also created flavored and scented condoms for Indonesia (durian fruit) and China (sweet corn).
3. Condom trees
In western Australia, the rate of HIV infection is the highest in the nation. When public health nurses were looking for an effective way to distribute condoms, someone suggested trees.
Young people in the countryside hang out under trees, making it the perfect place for nurses to hang condom-filled canisters.
Over 3,000 condoms are taken each month. Residents said grabbing condoms from trees was convenient and private.
Additionally, officials in Australia piloted programs where Aboriginal teens sold packets of condoms and kept half of the proceeds. Official tout these programs as a success because STD rates have lowered, yet nurses wonder how they will convince people that they shouldn't have multiple partners.
Maybe a monogamy tree is in the outback's future.
4. Scare tactics
Perhaps some safe sex programs skirt the issue -- unprotected sex causes HIV, which leads to AIDS and often death.
It's not surprising that a condom company would resort to scare tactics. The Tulipan Company launched its "Be Careful" ads in Argentina.
Showing skeletons positioned in flagrante delicto, these ads make no bones about how important it is to wear a condom while engaging in coitus.
No word if the skeleton ads have had the desired impact, though the graphic skeletons appear more popular than recent Trojan ads, which depict men as swine.
5. Spray-on protection
Since his teens, Jan Vinzenz Krause struggled to find a condom that fit correctly. He thought the pursuit of the perfect prophylactic was hopeless -- until he went to the carwash.
Inspired by the spray-on soap and wax, the German Krause developed a spray-on latex condom, which he claims always fits perfectly and feels natural.
However, many men find the design off-putting; the spray-on condom comes in a hard phallic case.
Men slide themselves into the cylinder and layer on the latex, providing full coverage.
The Jolly Joe, as Krause dubbed it, frightened many men during the testing phase -- they only put the case on their fingers. (Spray on gloves anyone?)
Others felt the loud hissing wasn't sexy and the latex takes too long to dry -- three minutes.
Krause explains to Time, "It needs to be ready in five to ten seconds." So for now, Krause is waiting for a quicker-drying latex.
Unusual campaigns to promote condom use are being launched in places where condoms are less popular.
But in many parts of the world, condoms aren't very popular.
Here are five novel campaigns launched by nonprofit organizations and condom companies to encourage wider use.
1. A ring tone to remember
In India, people stigmatize condoms and refuse to wear them because they believe only prostitutes must use prophylactics. Leave it one of the world's richest men to find a solution -- the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation donated money for a national condom ring tone.
An a cappella group sings "Condom, Condom" -- in the style of doo-wop like the contagious pop song "Barbara Ann" -- when one receives a phone call.
Despite its bubblegum sound, officials hope that the people who have the condom ring tone appear smart and responsible.
Since the ring tone's August launch, more than 60,000 people downloaded it. Yvonne MacPherson, country director of the BBC World Service Trust (which the Gates foundation funded), sums it up best when she said to the Associated Press: "A ring tone is a very public thing. It's a way to show you are a condom user and you don't have any issues with it."
Right, nothing attracts the amorous attention like announcing loudly that you have a condom.
2. Perks you right up
Ethiopians claim they hate condoms because the smell of latex sickens them. To combat the odor, DKT International, a United Sates nonprofit, created coffee condoms.
These dark brown condoms allegedly (I'm not testing the products) taste and smell like the favorite coffee of Ethiopia -- the macchiato, an espresso with cream and sugar.
One college student claimed the smell reminded him of the beauty of Ethiopian women (it's not clear if that's a compliment). These condoms bolster national identity because
Ethiopians claim to have invented coffee. DKT International also created flavored and scented condoms for Indonesia (durian fruit) and China (sweet corn).
3. Condom trees
In western Australia, the rate of HIV infection is the highest in the nation. When public health nurses were looking for an effective way to distribute condoms, someone suggested trees.
Young people in the countryside hang out under trees, making it the perfect place for nurses to hang condom-filled canisters.
Over 3,000 condoms are taken each month. Residents said grabbing condoms from trees was convenient and private.
Additionally, officials in Australia piloted programs where Aboriginal teens sold packets of condoms and kept half of the proceeds. Official tout these programs as a success because STD rates have lowered, yet nurses wonder how they will convince people that they shouldn't have multiple partners.
Maybe a monogamy tree is in the outback's future.
4. Scare tactics
Perhaps some safe sex programs skirt the issue -- unprotected sex causes HIV, which leads to AIDS and often death.
It's not surprising that a condom company would resort to scare tactics. The Tulipan Company launched its "Be Careful" ads in Argentina.
Showing skeletons positioned in flagrante delicto, these ads make no bones about how important it is to wear a condom while engaging in coitus.
No word if the skeleton ads have had the desired impact, though the graphic skeletons appear more popular than recent Trojan ads, which depict men as swine.
5. Spray-on protection
Since his teens, Jan Vinzenz Krause struggled to find a condom that fit correctly. He thought the pursuit of the perfect prophylactic was hopeless -- until he went to the carwash.
Inspired by the spray-on soap and wax, the German Krause developed a spray-on latex condom, which he claims always fits perfectly and feels natural.
However, many men find the design off-putting; the spray-on condom comes in a hard phallic case.
Men slide themselves into the cylinder and layer on the latex, providing full coverage.
The Jolly Joe, as Krause dubbed it, frightened many men during the testing phase -- they only put the case on their fingers. (Spray on gloves anyone?)
Others felt the loud hissing wasn't sexy and the latex takes too long to dry -- three minutes.
Krause explains to Time, "It needs to be ready in five to ten seconds." So for now, Krause is waiting for a quicker-drying latex.
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